It's been a while since I've cried these tears

Four years ago, on Sunday May 23rd, my dad took his own life. I'm at a loss on what to write, think, feel, ect. This hurt I'm feeling I have been able to lock up for quite sometime but the right combination always opens up the memories of that day.

If only he could see his beautiful grandchildren, how proud he would be. If only he could have seen all of his children cross the finish line of a half marathon, how proud he would be. If only he could see how those he had left behind, despite the unbearable pain, have chosen to carry on his wisdom and strength into their own lives, how proud he would be.

I miss you Dad.